Swag Vs Class
by Painful Yapoos
Summary: It's time for the first annual Swag Vs Class competition. Who will be the winner, and who will go home in tears?


AN: so obviously this story is BullShit. I have my own ideas about who the champions of each region would be. Basically just my personal favs from each game. I'm not including anyone after White&Black because, though I have played the newer games, I don't really feel comfortable writing the characters. I'm using the Pokemon Special names because I like those the best. Also, people seem to be divided on Red's apperance between the original games, firered and leafgreen, and the ever-popular Pixiv Red. Just imagine whichever Red you want to.

As for the story, just look at Black. To me, he is the sort of person who would hold a Swag Vs Class competition. If you disagree, don't read the story then.

8====D (A Line Break)

It was time for the first annual Swag Vs Class competition. Champion Black from the illustrious Unova region had decided to put this competition together. He knew he had to be the winner on the Swag side. One the class side…surely his good buddy Cheren would take the gold. But in the interest of fairness, he allowed others from different regions to compete. From Kanto, the famous Red. From Johto, the cool Gold. From Hoenn, the gorgeous Sapphire. From Sinnoh, the sexy Platinum. And of course, Black himself.

Black decided to call these famous trainers to see if they would be willing to compete.

He managed to track down Red's number after much research and spying.

Black sat in his room at his Mom's house. As he picked up his phone and dialed, he almost started to regret this idea. 'What if he doesn't pick up? Wait, what if he DOES pick up and says no? And then he tells all his buddies about this. His buddies in high places. I'll be screwed!' But oops, Black had already dialed and there WAS an answer.

"This is Red."

Upon hearing the voice, Black almost hung up. This was RED! The ultimate Pokemon master. The nigh-invincible champion. But, if he expected to win for the swag side….well, hanging up isn't very swaggy.

"Hey, Red! Broseph! This is Black. We fought in Unova once…"

"The Unova champion. I don't recall giving you my number. What do you want?"

Black yet again considered hanging up. He grew quiet and looked around his room. He looked at his Swag Shrine. In the shrine was a picture of Skrillex. Two candles burned beneath it. Skrillex…his idol. He touched his Obey snapback with shaking hands.

"I got it from…uh…Lance. He said you wouldn't mind me calling to arrange a competition."

"I don't remember giving him my number either."

"Uh.."

"But whatever. What kind of competition?"

"It's a special one. I'm going to call all the champtions from around the world. I want to see who's the best…"

"YEAH!" screamed Red. He was so pumped.

"It's going to be a Swag Vs Class competition."

The line went dead.

'Fuck', Black thought. Maybe Red didn't care about swag vs class after all…

Black dialed Red again. Surprisingly, Red answered.

"Red! Sorry, that was just a joke. Swag Vs Class, how lame is that, right?"

"Right", replied Red, clearly annoyed.

"Yeah, so now I'll tell you the REAL competition. To see who is the strongest champion!"

"That's better. I've always wanted to see who was really the best…", he commented with a bit of wistfulness.

"Yeah. Haha, anyway man, make sure you dress well. Think about Swag, then think about Class. Where do you fall?"

"Do you want me to hang up again?"

"No no man, hear me out. This thing is gonna be on TV! In HD! So you gotta look your best, right?"

"I really don't care how I look. This is a Pokemon competition, not a fashion show…"

"Well, all I'm saying is Swag vs class, man. Swag vs class."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Okay Red, take a tip from me. I'm the swaggiest motherfucker to ever be champion. Swag is when you show up for a battle in a snapback. Swag is when you go to a Skrillex concert and get to go backstage and then, next thing you know, you're getting a BJ from Skrillex's groupies. They can't help themselves. They came there for Skrillex, but then they saw that BLACK was there and there was a flood. A flood of female juices. You turn on the news and there's a flood warning. A female newscaster comes on talking about Hurricane Black. She has to be escorted away when she starts leaking all over the set. Ya feel me?"

"No."

"Just come to the competition."

"Sure, whatever."

So Red was officialy invited. Now to invite the other champions...

WOW I WONDER WHO WILL WIN...


End file.
